COVID won’t stop Santa

By Staff, 12/24/20 7:26 AM

HOPE/PRESCOTT – While the COVID-19 pandemic continues to rage, there no need to worry about Santa Claus making his annual visit this year.

In an exclusive interview with hopeprescott.com, Santa said nothing will stop him from visiting Hempstead and Nevada counties this year. “I know it’s been tough on people,” he said, “but the kids have been good this year and deserve something.”

Normally St. Nick enters the homes of children to leave their gifts and partake of the milk and cookies left out for him. This year things will be different. Before the pandemic began he was working on a way to make it safe for everyone involved. While there’s no problem with COVID at the North Pole, as it’s too cold and the location of Santa’s workshop is the best kept secret on the planet, no one there has the virus.However, he pointed out, he’s not willing to take the chance of spreading it by going house to house in his normal fashion. For years, the jolly old elf has been working on a method to teleport gifts into homes, while using the teleportation device to bring the cookies and milk to his sleigh.

Yes, Santa will still make the trip in his sleigh, flying around the entire world in one night using his plus/minus infinity drive engine, along with the reindeer. The infinity drive engine allows St. Nick to literally stop time at midnight all over the world, while the reindeer fly at near light speed to get him from place to place. The teleporter uses Santa’s own GPS system, which is infallible, to deliver the presents to the right places.

“You know,” Santa said, “visiting the Hope and Prescott area is my favorite part of the trip because I get the best cookies in the world, and the children always leave carrots out for the reindeer. All of the reindeer appreciate this as flying around the world takes a lot of energy.”

There’s also no need for children to worry about Santa’s personal safety either. His sleigh is equipped with stealth equipment every intelligence agency in the world wants to get its hands on, but can’t. St. Nick refuses to release the details on how it works, just telling the world leaders it involves a special kind of magic -something they don’t believe in. Basically, Santa and his reindeer are invisible to radar of all kinds and can’t be picked up by satellite either.

Children need to remember Santa’s still watching them as it’s not Christmas yet and they need to continue being good. St. Nick’s global network of spies constantly feed him information on how children are acting, especially this time of year. The jolly old elf makes use of animals, including pets, to make his naughty and nice list. Santa also has the most sophisticated supercomputer in the world to keep up with this list, along with the changes of addresses of everyone in the world. In addition, St. Nick also has human spies, watching how children behave when they’re in public, especially in stores. Children who cry and throw fits are automatically put on the naughty list, while those who do what they’re told are placed on the nice list.

Santa reminds children around the world to get to bed early on Christmas Eve as they’ll still be watched, right up to the time he’s come and gone. Of course, no one will actually “see” Santa this year as the gifts will be teleported from the sleigh as he makes his way around the world.